[OPINION] Marriage Is A “buy & Sell” Transaction, Don’t Be Deceived, Package Yourself Well

By Anayo  Nwosu

From my salesman’s experience, I have come to know why some products sell and others don't. Yes, I do as I have won many accolades as a master salesman.

I have also packaged many successful and enduring marriages end to end right from my university days and up till last week. Some of my friends call me “onye nfuta” or a person who facilitates. Just as I prospect for the right customers for my company.

I have been married for 17 years and I can comfortably claim to have demystified the man-made hullabaloo about marriage.

Besides what we have been taught in the holy books about marriage, I have come to a conclusion that good grooming and packaging amongst other salient values are today's best selling points any daughter should have to attract a good long lasting husband, a real man and vice versa.

My conviction is further reinforced by the failure of marriages of very spiritual couples and marriage counsellors.

I need not mention the lovely Nigerian pastor couple that co-authored daily devotional books and whose church dwelt so much on love. The couple has since divorced, caring less of their love prescriptions dosed to their frenetic followers.

Many godly couples know what to do but could not do what they need to do and the cookie crumbles.

A mother should please refocus her young daughter to easily recognize the qualities of a man that will ultimately make good husband and in whom a mother would be pleased.

A guy that is focused, takes good care of the mother and sisters. He is a guy that believes in the work he does and has a demonstrable notch progress.

That guy that respects women and believes that only weak men beat their wives is the real deal.

You could detect these traits in his conversations and background checks but never in bed.

Any guy that does not dress to impress, who is confident of his background and people, who makes success of his profession or career and would not drop names to boost his ego is the real man.

A smart girl decodes a guy's ambition from the type of friends he keeps; how forward looking his friends are and how he understands his environment.

If man is queer, he has something to hide. He is a dangerous man. Avoid him.

The current crop of good husbands would want their future wives to be partners rather than parasites.

Therefore, a daughter must be made to have ambition to succeed but never in the process betray her trait of being in competition with men.

Many men are fickle-minded and would not touch an overtly ambitious lady with a "marriage-pole". This is true as most men have inferiority complex.

A lady ripe and desirous of getting married should dress for occasion and should talk softly and kindly in public.

A woman does not have to win that argument in the public. If you insist on winning the argument, you also win a "no wife material" award.

A lady’s voice is not supposed to be heard where she is not seen. When she appears, all heads would turn to behold a queen of hearts.

Grooming schools help to achieve this.

Yes, the way she talks, smiles and walks indicates how well groomed she is. Men see these signs and base their marital decisions on them.

Real men know that a snake must give birth to a long slender offspring. So, a mother's known reputation is an enough advertisement and is indicative of how the daughters would turn out.

So Mama, be careful not to fight your husband, retort, abuse him or display any act of domestic violence before your daughters or in public.

Your daughters may think it is normal to quarrel and relive so in their own homes.

A starkly reality is that suitors are looking for women who would complement them or add value to their lives because of the present harsh economic conditions.

A wife married to a young man should at least be in a position to buy her essential needs at the start.

Read the weather and ensure that you guide your daughters towards professions that will make them independent.

Tell your daughters not to measure love by expensive gifts. Spoilt male children of the rich steal their parents money to appear generous.

In fact, they should return any gift from a man which you, their parents cannot afford.

Men value this crop of girls and tend to think that they are real.

A girl must cook well. It's an irreducible minimal criterion for a real man. “If she can’t cook, we eat out” is not true. The man would later use it against the wife when they quarrel.

A lady must be seen as clean.

You will be surprised to know that some men peep to see the state of the prospective ladies’ clothes left out to dry or those in the laundry bags. They are indicative of things unseen.

The smartest guy would on a visit ask to use the toilet to ascertain how clean the girl or her family is.

Tell your daughters never to openly say that they hate mothers-in-law or sisters-in-law. They turn the real men off.

Good men are family-centered. They give all family members their due share of love and care.  We are Africans.

Funnily enough, non-religious girls with good grooming and inviting credentials marry faster than the godly ones.

Perhaps you think that the devil is at work. No! You sell what you produce.

Your daughters' marriage may be faster if you groom and package them well.

It's all about coincidence of wants. You buy value these days.