Lady seeks advice after abandoning her man for being too insecure, others

Good day! I believe you and your family are good. Please help me post this.

I met my ex as an undergraduate student and we dated for close to eight years. He was a year ahead of me. I had a mild hearing issue and despite the mockery and insults I faced in school, he stood by me. He was good to me in many ways and was also serious about settling down with me in future.

We loved each other very much then and there was nothing we couldn't do for each other. I believed him, trusted him so much to the extent that whatever he wants me to do, I do it whatever he tells me, I believe him not minding whether it's true or lie or a red flag.

For instance, he once asked me to delete all the guys on my social media and I did thinking it was out of protection and love on his part. Any other guys that disturbed me back then, he would be jealous and would tell me to block him or stop communicating and I would do as he says to make him happy.

His sisters would want me to run an errand for them through him and I would because he told me that if I do it they will see me as a good person. He discouraged me from wearing the aid my father bought for me. According to him, he prefers me without it  and I can do without it. This made me to not wear the aid anymore.


Later, when I made up my mind to wear it after some years, I realised it got spoilt. Whenever we had issues, he won't talk to me for weeks and would always expect me to be the one to apologize because he believes I cannot do without him. He always brags that his kind is rare and if I leave him, I can never find any man like him that would love me much. The day he told his mother of his intention to marry me, she refused saying over her dead body that he will never marry from Imo. He is from Anambra. He told me to ignore what his mother said and that I should wait for him to be ready to settle down with me that I know my mum isn't in support of us but he will prove her wrong by marrying me in the end.

 I started seeking the will of God concerning us telling God that if it's not His will He should cause a rift between us. A misunderstanding ensued between us that he took so serious and became strange.


Things began to change when he eventually started business two years ago (he had nothing doing when we dated), feelings began to disappear gradually. My eyes cleared. I realized a lot of things was wrong between us, I detected the red signals that I couldn't believe I did that. In fact, I realized it was a foolish love. I realised he was controlling, too emotional, insecure, easily controlled by his siblings being the last and had this mentality of being right all the time as he always blames me for every misunderstanding we had.

Realizing all that, I took a bold step out of the relationship and never looked back.  I accepted my mistakes, worked on them and became a better person.

Since then he has being trying to emotionally blackmail me with death threats and telling his friends who knew us back then. He even told me that am letting my mum win that the reason am acting this way is because of my parents. I told him it's not true that it's of my own free will,  that I have tried waiting for him but it seems he is not ready to settle down yet and I can't marry into a home where I am rejected by his mother that if he wants to kill himself he should go ahead and kill himself and that won't stop me from moving on with life and achieving my purpose.


I warned him to stop giving his friends my number to talk to me on his behalf. I also told him I have nothing against him and I have forgiven him for everything but we should go our separate ways peacefully as I have already moved on. But he is very adamant, doesn't want to accept that he is not ready to settle down and is still trying in every possible way to make me come back to him claiming he can never love another woman as he loves me. He puts up posts related to his mood on facebook as an indirect way of talking to me but i ignore all that completely.

Please did I go wrong? I need your advice. Thank you.