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Sunday, 31 March 2019

Lifestyle Depressed lady seeks advice on what to do about her abusive husband

Depressed lady seeks advice on what to do about her abusive husband

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Note: This story is unedited.

Please am in a depressed and confused state of mind now. My marriage is crumbling for d second time. I have tried my best to make it work yet it's not working. Now the problem is I left d marriage as advised in my previous post and he came begging again. We stayed apart for 2years and 7months then reconcilied before I returned to his base.


His life never changed but because my family was very much after the shame to bear, I tried to endure. We don't talk, no s3x, no oneness we were just like housemates.

He provokes at any slightest mistakes. I tried talking to him heart to heart for d sake of the kids but all seems to no avail.

On the 2nd of January 2019, he resumed his beating again especially whenever he loses his sports gambling. The main issue right now is few days ago, the kids were bathed and I left them to dress up for school as I was in the room preparing their breakfast.

Immediately, he walked up to me and started shouting at me why will I allow the kids to be wasting the cream. I asked him why not teach the kids how to use the cream or collect it from them and that was all. Then the next day, I never knew he decided not to go to work to see if I will allow the kids rub the cream or not. Immediately I took the kids to school and returned, he got up from the couch where he laid, walked straight to me and said I should thank my star that the kids didn't rub the cream themselves again that he would have beaten me black and blue.  So out of fear I called my junior sister and told him so that if anything should happen to me let someone at least say I confided in her.


I called his brother too.  So my sister had to tell my mom what I have been going through so my mom now called his mom and told her to warn her son that if he's not interested in me again he should bring me home alone Dan always beating me up. So the mum told him and quarreled him for his actions. Now, he asked me to prepare that we are traveling home tomorrow.

My Dad has said that once l am home he will return his dowry simple. Please how do I handle this should I play along with my family and call it a quit or do I need to beg him so we don't travel. Truth be told, am tired of the marriage but my problem is how to start afresh. I have no sustainable job as he wasn't sending anything for me to carter for the kids upkeep during the other time of our separation. Though I am doing N power program which will be ending by May. He didn't allow me go look for work since I returned to his house. I am a graduate of mass communication. I will be 33 by April 21.  I need your advice.
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7 comments:

  1. Anonymous31 March 2019 at 06:20

    There's no love in the marriage any more so the earlier you move out alive the better for you

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous31 March 2019 at 06:24

    You are tired of the marriage and yet considering to beg him, beg him for what exactly, biko your kids need you to stay alive for them mbok 🙄

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous31 March 2019 at 06:27

    A graduate, an educated woman and you are still talking about your parents? The ball is in your court. Decide what you want to do.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous31 March 2019 at 06:29

    Maybe that violent union is more important to you than your life. Maybe you think you cannot survive without living with a wild beast you call a husband just because he brings money.

    Maybe you think that it adjusting your lifestyle to make it simpler and more affordable will be like hell. You prefer to die by the constant beatings and abuses abi? You even want to beg a wild beast so that you remain with him?

    Maybe your being a graduate blinds your eyes to simple things you can do to make money. You think your certificate is your only hope?

    But are you truly a graduate madam? Try and be a graduate with sense please.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous31 March 2019 at 06:30

    POSTER, the earlier you use this opportunity to leave that beast, the better your life will be alive to tell your success story in the future. You have the chance to live on this earth or you will die because as far as your families have now become involved, YOU SHOULD THANK YOUR GOD! You married a monster and thinks that you are married. Leave and never come back again. Hear from your father who can never deceive you. If all the story you just narrated here is the truth, BETTER GO WHEN YOU ARE STILL ALIVE. You will be surprised how a job will come your way and you will be the one to thank God that we advised you well. A word is enough for a wise person. Use your tongue to count your teeth.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous31 March 2019 at 06:32

    The worst thing that can happen to someone is to loved and marry someone that treats woman like a trash. Please if you are still interested in your life and also your beloved children, please don't endanger your life. I have seen a woman that the husband beats at a little provocation and people adviced her to save her life thereby leaving her marriage but she said that her hubby will change and was considering what people will say about her but at the end of it all, the so called hubby beat her and she was rush to the hospital and later died. Please think very well and pray about any decision you want to make pertaining this issue

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous31 March 2019 at 06:33

    People will just be living with their enemies in the name of marriage. How can a Man you called your husband be setting trap fr u so he can bounce on u? Sis, a lot of women hv died cos of domestic violence. Stop living in denial in the name of marriage. If is not working is not working. Forget what people will say. Talk is cheap anybody can afford it. People will always talk. Mouth is a body organ meant for talking . Don’t loose your life blc of societal validation

    ReplyDelete

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