What If You Find Out The Woman You Adore So Much Commits Adultery?

By Anayo M. Nwosu

With the destruction of the traditional control structure by civilisation, some vices which hitherto were latent or at worst done secretly are now an issue of major concern in Igbo land.

Many married women are now competing with men in brazen adultery.

In a traditional Igbo society, men were allowed to have multiple sex partners by way of polygamy or an "iko".

But the wife is not allowed to have sex with any other man other than her husband or her husband's approved "iko".

Iko in pre-colonial Igbo is a man or woman permitted or allowed by a spouse to have sex with his or her partner.

In some communities where the iko system was not allowed, a woman could only have sex with the husband.

In places like Umuowa in Imo State and Obukpa Nsukka in Enugu State, there were very dire consequences for an adulterous act by a wife which ranged from serious illness (to her or her husband, revealed upon enquiry by a diviner) to outright madness of the woman.

Nowadays, either that the powers of the enforcing deities have been deactivated, rendered ineffective or have dispossessed by foreign powers. The deities might have also joined in committing adultery with their female counterparts.

Some overzealous youths in many Igbo communities have also "prayed out" the local gods and destroyed their temples. So, things have "fallen apart and the centre can no longer hold".

The truth is that wives' whose sexual needs are not met are not fulfilled. Some of them look it. It takes a master reader of women to sense it.

The underserviced wives are in lack but may choose to remain in denial due to the influence of religion, home training, culture and fear of being caught.

Most wicked female bosses in the offices and those others in their early 50s who are always mean to young married male subordinates lack proper sexual service by their men at home.

They starved women now vent their frustration on the vibrant husbands of other women who enjoy what they, the female bosses) can't have.

A satisfied woman glows, smiles and respects any man in a show of appreciation for making her speak in tongues or shout "oh my rod!" like Anambra women.

But some sex starved women are bold enough to procure a stop-gap.

REASONS WHY A WIFE COMMITS ADULTERY
Below are some of the identified factors that could make a woman to wilfully sleep with another man:

1. PROLONGED ABSENCE OF HUSBAND FROM HOME: The exigencies of today's business have made very rich men to travel a lot and may be away from home for weeks. The absentee husband could have gone for meetings or had to monitor quality or shipment of their goods abroad.

Some rich men may be away from their matrimonial home for more than 3 months in a stretch or even more leaving the sexually active wife roasting in a pent up sexual urges.

Some petroleum engineers or geologists working in offshore oil rigs or soldiers fight in wars fall into this group.

Earlier in the marriage, the husband might travel along with a clingy wife but not when kids start coming.

Child care, house keeping and other maternal requirements may make it impossible for a man to always take along his wife while on a long business trip.

Some women work in their husband's companies and are responsible for the management of the local business and as such cannot travel around with their husbands.

The man might make phone calls always but that does not replace his physical presence.

In the man's absence, the serpent might come to deceive his wife. This happened to Eve in Adam's absence.

The  bible accounts that the serpent had a long discourse with Eve and had made Eve eat the forbidden fruit before Adam returned.

A master cassanova could also invade the house of an absentee husband and open a woman's eyes to how sweet a mere filling of a hole the rod of Moses could be.

Tempter of a man with a menacingly sweet rod or "akpuruekwe" may even arrive when the woman is on her heat or on the height of her monthly sexual urge as it happens in all female creatures.

The affair which started as a close friendship would turn into a raving sexual activity.

The woman would feel guilty at the first occurrence but would then be asking for more like Oliver Twist if the guy did it better than the owner.

In some instances, a smart wife of a frequent travelling rich man could decide to be discreet by promoting one of the husband's staff, aide or senior apprentice to an alternate lover.

The chosen alternative sex provider is usually privileged and is openly praised for hard work and steadfastness by madam in front of Oga.

2. POTIPHAR'S WIFE FACTOR : The christian bible recounts the attempt of the wife of a busy official in Egypt to use Mr. Joseph Jacob to augment whatever sex or no sex she got from her husband.

Some men are so engrossed with their office work to the detriment of their wives' sex needs.

They return home tired.

Some men even fall asleep at the dinning table after eating the wives' well prepared dinner only to leave the house very early the next day, leaving the wife frustrated.

This class of men who are usually dedicated to their professions are very loved by their employers and enjoy promotions. Most bankers and engineers fall into this category.

The wife under this circumstance looks around her to improvise and procure a source of sexual satisfaction.

3. AGEING HUSBAND : Biology reveals that a man's libido and ability to satisfy his wife decrease with age. Conversely, the woman's libido and need for sex increase with age up to and even beyond menopause.

Therefore, as a man gets older, he loses the capacity to make his wife achieve orgasm or to cry a loud sweet cry.

The wife needs him to do more but this is beyond the husband's abilities. There is an extent to which Viagra can go otherwise the the man's heart would pack up.

A 60 year-old man who marries a 20 year old wife is just on an ego trip. He cannot do more than a Keke Marwa or a tricycle does as it ascends Obudu hills .

4. SHARP DROP IN SEXUAL PERFORMANCE: For reasons ranging from medical conditions to economic pressure, a man may suddenly become unable to satisfy his wife in bed. It may manifest as quick or premature ejaculation, slacking of the penis as soon as it rises and an ineffectual strength.

A woman who has found herself in this conundrum feels so sad especially when all medical and psychological treatments have failed to resolve the problem.

No amount of wealth and good nature of the husband can cover the wife's misery.

Some men ask a good friend or a brother to fill in the gap for them or ask the wife to choose anybody any man of her choice but should never invite him home and to keep the affairs discreet.

5. OKAFOR'S LAW: This statement applies to guys mostly. It holds that if a man has been involved with a girl for a period of time and did a good job in and out of the bedroom, the belief is that the man can always go to the girl at any given time and sleep with her again no matter what situation arises (breakups, different lover, etc..)

Some women would naturally give in to the sexual overtures of their former boyfriends even though they are happily married. The ex-boyfriends have their access codes expecially if the husbands are underperforming.

It is a profitable wisdom for any man to discourage any form of closeness between his wife and a former boyfriend even if the man is now a pastor.

She should flee from this temptation.

Should the husband be unfortunate to be performing in bed at levels far below what the wife who was used to an electrifying performance with her former power-packed lover, the woman would always long for a re-enactment of the fire she was used to.

Many wives would not openly admit that they are engaged in a psychological makeover while in bed with their husbands; they imagine that they are making love to their former exceptionally good boyfriends; that's the only way the ladies would reach orgasm.

Many men had slapped their wives while in bed for calling them another man's name in the heat of the moment.

6. DEPRAVITY: Fantasy and unbridled sexual imagination could make a woman want to bring to reality her sexual cravings.

Some married women sometimes, imagine how their husbands' friends, colleagues in the offices would be like in bed. They may go a step further to seduce the willing victims and sleep with them.

7. NYMPHOMANIA: There are some women who due to no fault of theirs can never be satisfied by even a man with a stallion strength and magnificent organ.

It is a psychiatric case.

A wise husband of an over-sexed wife speedily harvests his children and leaves  the woman to find a regulated satisfaction before the man joins his ancestors while trying to satisfy the wife.

8. ABANDONED WIFE: Some men have so dehumanised their wives through physical and emotional abuse. Some openly flaunting their concubines and baby mamas in front of their hapless wives.

Some of the affected women have left themselves "unkenieamuable" or unable to to provoke a willing phallus.

The women have become unkempt or too fat or obessed and out of shape to make their men have sexual urges. They can't just "kenieutu" or cause a man's arousal.

This category of ignored women created the first of jigolo market in Greece and similar markets elsewhere. They pay young men for sex.

TECHNOLOGICAL SUCCOUR
Following the implications of a scandal that greets an exposure of an extra marital affair, some women with supplementary sex needs now find succour in sex toys.

Some women use whatever that is handy like fingers, candle stick, Head of screwdrivers, carrot, banana and recently cucumbers.

More sophisticated women, expecially the career ones, use sex toys also known as dildos or vibrators which come in various sizes and lengths  depending on the needs of the women.

Some vibrators are manual while others are powered by battery and others can be plugged directly to electricity for power and intensity.

CONCLUSION
There is a correlation between the possibility of a wife committing adultery with the availability of her husband.

An absentee husband of a sexually active wife shares in the blame for his wife's illicit sexual acts.

A man can lose his loving his wife in pursuit of great wealth.

When next you blame the wife of a absentee or frequently travelling man accused adultery, just know that it was not entirely her fault.

A man who leaves his wife and goes away for so a long time has provided an entrance window for a devil in form of another man to come service his wife, and the effects may even define the destiny of the man himself.