How Our Parents Fool Themselves About Nigeria's Unity, By Anayo Nwosu

"Aisha my daughter, you cannot marry that Igbo boy. You cannot reward me with shame amongst our people, for sending you to a university in the U.K" was all Alhaji Jatau Ringim said as he slammed his hotel room door against his daughter as he made for the lift.

Alhaji Ringim was already late for his function, as the keynote speaker at a retreat organized by “Nigerian Youths Against Disunity”, holding at Ladi Kwale Hall in Transcorp Hotel, Abuja.

Aisha had just graduated from Cambridge University in the U.K and had deemed it respectful to see her father first in a hotel where he had lodged, before proceeding to their family home in Kaduna.

She wanted her father to know that she made First Class in her course of study.

Aisha was forced to mention Onyeije, her boyfriend to her father, when after breaking the news of her excellent performance in school, the father told her about his acceptance of a marital proposal by one 63 years old Alhaji Musa Mainasara, who he said had been following her progress.

Aisha Ringim, a law graduate of University of Cambridge and the valedictorian for her set, was enveloped by revulsion at the thought that her father had taken, on her behalf, a marital decision concerning her without even the courtesy of seeking her consent.

Miss Ringim surprised herself at the calm way she approached the matter. She was very respectful but very assertive.

She politely told her father that she was not interested in marrying a man thrice her age, who she was sure didn't love her, but was only interested in deflowering her and then moving on to another young woman.

With no feeling of fear, Aisha told her father that she was in love with an Igbo boy named Onyeije Amaoke.

"What?" "Audhu bi Lahi!" meaning "God forbid!"

"You can't do this to me, my daughter!" the father pleaded.

"Wait for me, let me go deliver my lecture at the conference hall within this hotel premises, I would be right back so that we could sort this out" was what Alhaji Ringim managed to say before making to leave.

But the daughter was not done.

"Can I accompany you to the speaking event as I would be lonely in this expansive hotel suite?", Aisha asked the father with a child's innocent tone, but the father declined.

"Don't worry my daughter, I will soon be back, as I only have to speak for 45 minutes", the father said without giving any room for her to push further.

Aisha must not listen to his keynote speech, otherwise he would have lost the moral authority to oppose her choice of an Igbo man for marriage.

"Fellow Nigerians, you have the right to create the kind of country you envision and would love to have. You are the youth and the leaders of tomorrow and the much awaited tomorrow is here", Aisha's father commenced as he delivered the keynote address.

"As young people, you should defend the unity of Nigeria with your last drop of blood. It is not for nothing that God brought us together as one, through our colonial masters and we shall remain one despite our differences.

"I'm glad that youths from all ethnic groups in Nigeria are here represented. You should join hands in fighting those campaigning for independence or balkanization of any section of this great country. You should engage in ventures and activities that would unite you and preserve the unity of our fatherland.

"I am honoured by your invitation to deliver this keynote address and was also humbled by your investiture on me, the title of the foremost bridge builder and unity promoter in Nigeria.

"I thank you all. God bless a forever united Nigeria", concluded Alhaji Ringim who was a former Ambassador, a former minister and a former senator, to a standing ovation.

Done, Alhaji Ringim returned to his hotel room to deal with a big issue waiting for him. He didn't wait for a minute and reopened the topic with the prepared daughter.

Alhaji Ringim knew many years ago that he might face this kind of challenge from Aisha.

She was the only daughter out his thirteen children who could confront him openly and say her mind but in a very respectful way and  she was always correct.

Aisha made him proud as she always came first in all her exams right from nursery to secondary school hence, the news of her first class degree was expected.

"But why would Aisha spoil his joy with the news of dating and planning to marry an Igbo boy, a nyamiri", Alhaji Ringim painfully murmured to himself.

"Nyamiri" was a derogatory Hausa name for Igbos.

Story had it that when the first Igbo people arrived the northern Nigeria after the amalgamation of all the British protectorates in 1914, they were so thirsty that they were begging the Hausa locals to "nye anyi mmiri" or "give us water".

"Aisha, my daughter, please tell me that you were playing with your statement that you were dating a nyamiri boy.

"I can handle the proposal of Alhaji Mainassara to marry you, but you must also drop your plans with the Igbo boy. You can’t go anywhere with him. It is an abomination or a "haram" to so do.

"You can't marry Igbo. For one, you are a moslem and can only marry a moslem. You know that you are forbidden to marry a non-moslem.

"Don't make me feel guilty for allowing you study abroad despite the warning of my friends, especially the imam at the Central Mosque", Alhaji Ringim said with an air of regret.

"Baba, but you are a celebrated and a well known preacher of Nigerian unity and an exponent of greater integration amongst Nigerian youths. Which other way can the youths foster greater unity other than inter-faith or inter-tribal marriages?" Aisha pointedly asked her father.

"My daughter, you are only but a child. What do you know at 21? The preaching for the united Nigeria by northerners like me is self-preservative and for the good of the teeming population of youths from our area, including you.

"Aisha, know it today that we are differentiated by our religion and can never unite in marriage with Christians or other Nigerians of different faiths. We even eat different foods and are buried differently.

"You know quite well that we speak different languages as we worship differently just as we have different culture and values and can never be one people. Therefore, perish the thought of marrying that nyamiri boy, it would not work!" Aisha's father pleaded.

"Dearest father, I have heard you loud and clear. I shall speak with Dr. Onyeije Amaoke, the Igbo boy that wants to marry me. I shall tell him about your opposition to our marriage plans and would be truthful in telling him your reasons after all, you have always enjoined me to be truthful always", Aisha told the father.

"May Allah be praised!" the father exclaimed.

"But you don't need to disclose the real reasons why you are backing out. There are exceptions for lying. You can lie as far as this matter is concerned.

"Just tell him that you have changed your mind. Don't let him into my role in the matter otherwise he would blackmail me the way his brother is now blackmailing the whole of Nigeria and end up damaging my hard earned reputation. You know that Igbo boys could be mean when their interest or ego is hurt", the father pleaded.

Even as the father was suspicious of Aisha's easy acquiescence or capitulation, he didn't rule out the possibility of her springing up a surprise, knowing her too well.

Aisha was the only child of his that took after him in extreme intelligence and ability to surprise someone with the precision of an eagle.

Unbeknownst to him, he was right.

Aisha Ringim and Onyeije Amaoke, as two consenting adults, had secretly wedded some months before their graduation in the U.K.

Dr. Amaoke was a doctorate degree graduate from the same faculty Aisha bagged her Bachelors at Law. The two became an item at their first meeting at the Students' Law Conference at the main lecture theatre in Cambridge University.

The couple had come home to execute a well-rehearsed classic act, to punish their high ranking pretentious and tribalistic parents, who mouthed national unity but resisted it in practice.

They had it all planned well.

They had secured a permanent residency in Canada and would be settling down in French speaking Quebec province where Aisha planned to deliver her baby.

She wanted her children to speak French in addition to English.

The father of Dr. Amaoke, a retired Supreme Court judge and a native of Afaraukwu near Umuahia, threatened to report his son to Nnamdi Kanu his townsman. Kanu leads the movement for actualization of Biafra independence.

Elder Amaoke had dubbed his son a saboteur to Biafran project.

"How can you be planning to marry an enemy at this period of Biafran history?" he asked his young son.

The young Dr. Onyeije Amaoke had the full but hidden support of his mother who wanted her only son to be happy with his choice of a wife.

If Justice Okeagu Amaoke got to know that his wife, Prof. Chioma Amaoke, had met Aisha in the U.K. during their last vacation behind his back, and that she had also attended the secret wedding under the excuse of going for medical checkup, he would roar like a "great lion" which is the meaning of his first name.

Poor Alhaji Jatua Ringim!

He did not know that Aisha, his daughter, was three months pregnant and would never return to Nigeria after her convocation, which was billed to take place in a fortnight.

In a voice full of emotion, Alhaji Ringim sobbed with his teary eyes gazed at his favorite daughter saying: "Aisha my priceless daughter, my only regret is that your mother is not alive today to accompany me to your convocation and to see you deliver your speech as the valedictorian."

Aisha cried with her father but in memory of her mother who was not alive to behold her future children with Dr. Amaoke.

On her death bed, Aisha's mother told her to pursue whatever that would make her happy and Aisha was now certain that the mother was talking about Dr. Amaoke who was a complete man in all ramifications had made her happy in all fronts.