How To Tame That Your Randy Or Oversexed Husband

As written by Anayo Nwosu

Kunle is a very smart guy who identified a his Oga's needs and was very handy in meeting and surpassing his supervisor's expectations.

Being a bad boy in the university was not an entirely bad experience as Kunle guessed correctly, the specifications his boss wanted in a "toy girl" and he arranged just that for him.

A young light-skinned girl with naturally rounded boobs makes Mr. Igbanke go gaga. Even at 51, he still likes them young.

It was a quarterly business review (QBR) which lasted for a whole weekend where regional managers and all management staff of the Hillcrest bank would converge in a hotel to review the bank's performance in the last three months, stem negative deviation from agreed targets and plan on how to meet and surpass the projected budget .

It's not all business for some ogas who saw the three day escape from home as an opportunity to try new things.

They would choose from an array of young undergraduates girls, corporate call girls and part-time pleasure consultants camped in outside the retreat venue by brokers.

Kunle had for three years now provided his boss with firebrand girls.

Unbeknownst to his boss, Kunle would first test the lady to ascertain that the body indices were those that appeared standing and would disappear or sag when the bras are down.

He also that the lady was good in bed especially in the orals. It's only then would he present the tested and confirmed lady to Mr. Igbanke, his boss, for his pleasure.

Kunle made it clear to the ladies undergoing testing that only the successful person would be selected and that his boss would pay for work done during the auditioning and actual performance.

Kunle's colleagues kept wondering why he had  enjoyed rapid promotion and did no wrong in the office.

This time around, Bisola beat other ladies to emerge Kunle's pick for oga. But the heavily endowed Bisola was surprised at lame attitude of Kunle's boss in bed. He appeared so tired and spent.

Mr. Igbanke liked Bisola and her endowment but couldn't get himself to perform.

Work as Bisola worked on him, the real Mr. Igbanke could not come to party. The spirit was willing but the body was weak.

If Kunle didn't give Bisola a seal of approval, she would have lost confidence in her bedmatics prowess. What could be the problem? She was sure that she didn't have body odour or tattoo on her body. "Is the man impotent?" She asked herself.

But, she was compensated handsomely.

Labake, Mr. Igbanke's wife was the cause of her husband's inability to perform. She has come to know the game too well and had put to practice all that she learnt from an adhoc tale by Ikenga Ezenwegbu, a senior colleague in her office a week before on how to tame an oversexed husband.

Labake too is heavily endowed and never let her childbearing to disfigure her model looks. She is as beautiful as she is toastable. She had to wear a bold wedding ring to advertise her unavailability but some men still chase her.

But Mr. Igbanke still looked outside. Perhaps the wife had been saddled with time consuming family and work issues to ignore the need to service her man as appropriate. So, the husband had extra energy to spare. But, that was about to change.

Labake had made love to her husband on Thursday night and mischievously seduced him again in the morning of Friday before he left for the QBR.

Mr. Igbanke left home with an empty tank of spermatozoa.

The wife had harvested the content of the scrotum and the the sperm remnants in the epididymis or pipes connecting the balls to the penis, the very way a chef squeezes the intestines of a goat to drain it of its contents before cooking.

The good news is that a wife can curtail her husband's randiness by ensuring that he leaves the house with an empty tank of sperm especially when she suspects that the man has some "arrangements".

The effect is same in all animals.

Have you not noticed the behavior of a cock that had just climbed down from the back of a hen? The expended cock would only spread its limb feathers and hop around any other hen within his location but can mount again.

Also, a sexually satisfied he-goat can only be seen humming "hepu! hepu!" around even a needy she-goat on heat. That's an empty arrogance as the he-goat has nothing to give till later in the day or next morning.

Being that a total cure of madness doesn't eliminate intermittent winking of eyelids, a sexually saturated randy man can only be seen embracing and cuddling women after the act but cannot fire. The tank is empty.

That was the state of Mr. Igbanke on that Friday night in his hotel room after Day 1 of the QBR  and all through the next day as the thought of "doing" could not be matched by knack "to do". Can an empty gun shoot?

Are you a wife, and you think or reasonably suspect that your man is philandering or is randy while on business tours, you could adopt the Labake's therapy.

 Harvest your man's energy a day before his travel date and the morning of his departure. Let him travel light. By so doing, you are sure that your man would be faithful to his marital fidelity.

My dear female friends, don't only pray about it. Do something creative.

Reduce the the scrotal load of your man and make him see other women as sisters not as sex targets.

It works.

Even me as saintly I am, can testify to its efficacy.

I also acknowledge that some men, like their counterparts in the female folks, are just impossible and are beyond redemption.