#BBNaija And The Kemens Of This World, By Charles Ogbu

Yesterday, one of the male contestants in the BBNaija simply known as Kemen was evicted for sexually molesting a female housemate, Tboss by groping her while she was asleep.

My focus here is not particularly on BBNaija. Far from it.

My main focus is on the attitude of our society towards rape and sexual assault. And going by reactions from some Nigerians on that Kemen-Tboss issue, it is beyond argument that majority of us still do not fully understand what constitute rape and sexual molestation.

Yes, Kemen likes Tboss. He follows her up and down. He has even made his feelings known to her several times which she turned down. But even after turning him down, TBoss yet went ahead to request a massage from the Kemen guy while nude. She was recently seen rubbing Kemen's chest and laying on it. And she voluntarily chose to share a bed with him.

All these could be argued as the guy being led by the girl. Some sort of entrapment. But like I implied, you can only make this as an argument for the sake of argument.

What is beyond argument here is the fact that as at the time the Kemen guy was captured on video groping the TBoss lady, she was asleep and unconscious and as such, her consent was not obtained.

That, my dear friends, is called sexual molestation and it is a twin brother to rape.

Argue this from now till Buhari's 3rd missionary journey to Asorock, it is still what it is. Matter of fact, Charles Ogbu won't even argue this with you.

Groping a sleeping woman is sexual molestation. It is a very serious crime in saner climes.

That a woman was leading you on is not the issue here. That she had previously requested for and gotten a massage from you while nude is equally not the issue. Even sharing a bed with you is no excuse either. Even if we all agree that this is a clear case of entrapment, infact, call it an elimination strategy by the Tboss lady, it still DOES NOT dilute the fact that you, the Kemens of this world groped her without her consent. And this is a crime.

In fact, even if the Kemen guy had had sex with the Tboss lady few minutes earlier with her express consent, as long as she was sleeping or even pretending to be sleeping this time around and clearly didn't give her consent, touching any part of her body is a clear case of sexual assault. This is not even debatable.

No sane Judge will listen to the narrative that the lady led you on or entrapped you. What a reasonable judge will base his ruling on is whether or not you sought and obtained the consent of your partner before doing the 'touching body'.

But of course, as Nigerians, I perfectly understand why this should be a big issue for us. Ours is a Soceity where a man believes he has the consent of both men and God to forcefully have sex with any female friend who as much as pays him a visit in his house. And the society will be like:

"Wetin you find go the man house?"

Even the police will be like:

"Comot for here! E no sweet you when im dey do you? No be you waka go im house?", etc.

I hope we would all learn a lesson or two from this.

No matter the signs you think a woman is giving you, you don't go and start doing 'touching body' when she is unconscious and couldn't have given her consent. If you do this, it is really not very different from rape and they may be consequences.

By the way, I feel for the Kemen guy. His action was shameful and condemnable, no doubt. But I don't see him as a rapist. I think he was sincerely ignorant of the implications of what he was doing and its possible consequences. He sincerely believed Tboss wanted him to 'run things' with her. He interpreted Tboss moves as invitation.

On the other hand, Tboss moves seem to suggest Kemen was clearly being led by her. More like an entrapment. I mean, knowing that this guy wants to have sex with you and has even told you in no unclear terms, you still requested a massage from him while pant-less and bra-less, you were seen rubbing his chest and laying on it. And you deliberately chose to share a bed with him. Seem to me like an entrapment. This is subject to debate, though.

But, what is not subject to debate is that he (Kemen) groped a sleeping woman  (Tboss) without her consent. And that is a clear case of sexual molestation. Those moves by Tboss do not constitute a crime or even an offense. Kemens action does!

And that is what we should be concentrating on.