Recession Induced Family Wars - Husbands Are Going Traditional, By Anayo Nwosu

Odikannaya has had it up to his neck levels. He is disillusioned and has decided to free himself. "Yes, if it's not working , it's not working", he re-assures himself. He had jettisoned the ways of his fathers and embraced modernity which has failed him.

Anayi Nwosu

Who does he blame, but himself?

He grew up to seeing how his father husbanded his mom; how the mother would submit all her monthly salary to her husband, the very day she was paid.

The mom would return the next day with a shopping list which the husband would vet and then provide funds for the household provision. The remaining unexpended amount was saved and invested in trust by the man of the house, as he deemed fit.

Odikannaya's parents were teachers. While his father was a secondary school principal, the mum was a headmistress. That was the era when staff salaries were paid in cash.

Back on holiday from the university, Odika summoned courage to ask his dad why he collected his wife's salary, even when he was earning much more as a supervising principal. The father took one look at him and laughed.

"My son," he started, "a woman should be submissive to the husband in all things". He told his son that he and the wife were christians and had anchored their ways accordingly. That entailed that they had a common purse managed by the head of the family.

"Your mum knows too well the fate of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5:1-11, so she declares all her earnings and submits all to me; she doesn't want to die", he said beating his chest as Kiliwe Nwachukwu the wrestler.

Odika deemed his father a deadly species of male chauvinist but dared not voice it out  nor betray his feelings, in order not annoy his imperial father, a renowned disciplinarian who was reputed for flogging teachers for small misdemeanours.

He thanked his father for his time but assured himself that he would never emulate the practice of that kind of wickedness from his idol, his father.

Surprisingly, Ikodiya had no qualms submitting her monthly pay to her husband. She told her son, upon his stubborn enquiry, that she was even grateful that his father allowed her to work, as many of her husband's friends insisted that their wives should be housewives.

More so, the mere fact that her husband who married her when she was still young and  saw her through secondary and college of education, was entitled to manage her earnings. She told the son that she never lacked anything, a statement even the son knew was true.

"What a retrogressive practice!" Odika exclaimed 18 years ago. But, he could not say so again today. He is now fighting his civilization and conviction being tested by harsh economic realities .

Odika married an opposite of what his mother was. The wife, Galasia, is a modern woman, fully aware of her rights. She can't even discuss what and when she is paid with anyone, including her husband.

But, Galasia  is not entirely modern.

She holds  firmly to the traditional belief that the husband must pick all the bills in the family. Her core wifely duty as she sees it, is to warm her husband's bed. "A man must earn his husband title in deeds", she tells herself.

Galasia never situated that a woman was traditionally meant to be a housewife as PMB has described to the world.

Odika could remember his father telling a newly married couple one evening that " a woman's time belongs to her husband; that money made from the time outside the house belongs to the owner of the time".

Odikannaya never would have minded his wife's iron clad financial curtain but for the recession and inflation that have halved his earnings. He needed all the  financial assistance he could get, otherwise he would bend his backbone.

But Odika's wife would not tolerate this incursion. She would rather leave the marriage than to allow her husband colonise her financially. After all, she knows a lot of divorced ladies who are doing well.

"What if he finds out what I earn and asks what I have achieved with my accumulated  earnings in terms of savings and investments" Galasia feared.

With confidence boosted by a bottle of Red Label, Odikannaya could see himself in the image of his own father. He could remember his conversation with his parents nearly two decades ago on family finance management. It's time to return to the old ways. He has had enough!

"My wife will either be a real wife, mind my kitchen, my living room and the other room or become a business partner, in which case, all revenues and expenses must be declared", he decreed.

The die is cast. He is waiting for his wife to come back from work. She may as well return to work this night.

Regrettably, the couple with five beautiful children have made up their minds.

Who will blink first?