Whose Fault For Child's Misbehaviour?, By Jo

If a child is misbehaving, it is either the fault of he father of mother, it can never be the fault of both. It is either the father doesn't support the wife when she disciplines the child or the wife doesn't support the husband in disciplining the child.  The love of the mother or father will ruin a child without the discipline of both. A father or mother can't hate his or her child and no party should claim to love the child more to the detriment of the other.

When there is no unity between the father and mother, the children capitalise on it to misbehave. They know that the family is already divided and so, there will be bias judgment either from the father or mother.  With this development, politics creeps in into the family where their will be daddy or mummy special. When the issues like school fee for the children is discussed, the father or mother will take preferential disposition to favour their favorites.

This should not suppose to be.  At no point should the father or mother display any atom of disrespect, disagreement or division right in front of their children because you are feeding them,especially at their developing stage where they are restricted in thinking and subject what they think to feelings.. It is either the father or mother is silent or say something positive at that point.

Dear husband and wife, at no point will you shift the love you have for each other as husband and wife to your children....like you use to call your spouse darling,honey, partner,beloved,etc and you shift to Papa Nonso or mama nonso.... I quite understand that children are the major reason for most marriages, but they should not come between the love you have for each other;your children should receive just the reserve of your love.

Madam, your husband can't hate your children unless you know he wasn't their biological father. Also, trying to take up the disciplinary part of the family,simply because you contribute more finance than your husband, is dangerous and disastrous;ask question of those who did.  Most times, the look on daddy's face is more effective than mummy's shouts. Be mature enough not to make the children disrespect their father and see him as incompetent simply because you provide the bread. Learn to establish your boundary when challenging the authority of your husband because it will boomerang.

Sir, never forget your role as the father even if your wife is the bread winner of the family. Contribute as you can but don't let the disciplinary aspect be shifted from you to your wife alone. Outside giving birth to babies, everything else should be complemented for the growth of the family.  Unity is the word.  Once the children know that they can't penetrate the father or mother, knowing that their is none to support their late night activities,recalcitrancy ,they will know they are on their own and hence, mellow down and call themselves to order.

Dear sir or madam, don't let much love or tenderness you have for your children destroy them.  Learn to mix them up with certain strict measures from both of you. Enjoy your family.

®©SERENE.