OPINION: At Certain Point, The Relations Of A Lunatic Will Surely Rise To Defend Him, By Anayo Nwosu

Alegi Iyor was a certified mad man from Umudim Nnewi with licence to practice his madness in all the four quarters of the town. His brand of madness was unique in the sense that he was not violent and he never posed any serious danger to the sane even though he was reported to have touched women in the breasts especially those with big and laterally protruding ones.

Aleegi Iyor would not endure the push to unravel what would make women's  breasts big and pointed at the same time. He didn't know the wondrous acts of power bra.

He would usually take the ladies unawares, touch their breasts and swiftly run away to the  the embarrassment of his victims. He too,had endured some slaps and kicks by some vigilant ladies or their escorts.

There were other lunatics in Nnewi in the mould of Aleegi like, Ashia of Okpuno Otolo and Dortuo of Umunwakanwa but Aleegi was the most popular of them all due to his capacity to pull pranks.

He also had more youthful admirers.

It was Aleegi who would openly accuse rich men in the town of their sins. He would name their secret lovers, prompting some people to suspect that he was being used by few unseen hands to embarrass his targets. He also would insult the proud and played with the lowly.

Aleegi Iyor was popular with many women in the foodstuffs section of Nkwo Edo Market in Nnewi. He would bring out his big manhood standing like agama lizard, nodding as if it was ready to enter into an imaginary deep human hole filled with honey.

Holding his huge thing on his right palm, Aleegi would be looking intently on awestriken women most of who had not known or swallowed anything that big, saying "i choro ya? Nkem ka nke di gi!" meaning "do you want it? Mine is bigger than that of your husband!"

Such displays normally caused hysterical laughter amongst nostalgic women and those who saw comedy only in Aleegi's lurid acts.

Aleegi's endowment in between his legs was well acknowledged in the whole Nnewi town as it was described as "igbagbu Aleegi Iyor".  Over time, the huge size of Aleegi's manhood became a metaphor in describing men so endowed.

It happened that one day at Nkwo Nnewi Triangle, during the annual Afiolu Festival that attracted both young and old from far and near, a young army officer attempted to strangulate Aleegi Iyor like a python would a strayed ram.

The army officer was not in uniform but his masculine features gave him out easily as either a boxer or a soldier.

Lieutenant Iwedi, a native of Igbongo and his fiance, Ukwunnu were in the crowd watching performing masquerades  when all of a sudden, his fiance shouted "Chim egbu m oo!" as she felt a huge soft rod pressing her from the back. She turned to see Aleegi holding his manhood behind her.

Iwedi, young graduate from Nigerian Defense Academy pelted Aleegi with blows released in quick succession in that people around could only recognise Aleegi, not by his penis that had shrunken into a stump, but by his cloth as the blows had defaced him and rearranged the contours of his head.

Almost everybody in the arena swung into action to save Aleegi but his assailant would not agreed.

He wanted to kill Aleegi for trying his trick on his intended wife; a girl he had not even seen naked nor suckled her breasts. He couldn't not imagine, that Aleegi's phallus was getting nearer to the honey before his. He couldn't just bear that.

When the soldier refused to stop his murderous beating of Aleegi, many of those who had originally condemned Aleegi, particularly those from Inyaba Umudim Nnewi, his village would not stand by and watch their brother being killed for practicing his harmless madness.

It is never done.

In the whole of Igbo land, the relations of a mad man do not stand idly while their lunatic brother is beaten to the point of humiliation or death. Every Igbo lunatic belongs to his people.

The salvific or protective reaction of mad man's relations could be quicker if they believe that the madness of their brother is to their benefit.

To the surprise of many, the market women who Aleegi entertained, the young girls he chased around and the secondary school boys that played with him and saw him as their own mad man came to rescue Aleegi.

The future father-in-law of Lt. Iwedi accused the confused future son-in-law of attempted murder.

He asked his daughter's fiancé, "Please note that you want to kill Aleegi Iyor for touching what doesn't even belong to you. Ukwunnu is my daughter and is yet to be married to you.

"If you kill Aleegi Iyor, who else would make people laugh at your traditional wedding?

"Come to think of it, how harmful could Aleegi's phallus be to my daughter on trouser jeans and in public?" Mazi Alaigbo concluded.

The town needed Aleegi to be alive as no one can mad his brand of madness.

But the whole town feared that the beating Aleegi Iyor received could make him change into something different from what they had always known him to be.